For some people, including myself, it is much easier giving advice than taking our own.
I’m no expert by any means, but being a deep and analytical thinker, I do feel I can see things a little different. I always dig a little deeper to find more solutions or probable answers to several things in life. I often think there’s always a reason behind everything, and my goal has always been to find that reason.
Sometimes people don’t even want advice, they just want to vent to you. This could all depend on the individual’s mood or issue. I know most of us have been in similar situations we may have seen our friends or family in. And it’s easier to give them advice on what to do since you know them. But, here you are, in the same situation they were in and the advice you gave them, is now hard for you to use for yourself. What should you do?
Taking your own advice is not always as easy as thinking it, saying it, and then doing it. Sometimes when you’re experiencing the issue yourself, you may have a foggy brain. And may struggle thinking of advice to give yourself. What I find is a good solution in those cases, is to think of your issue as if you’re telling a story to someone else. But you are in third person. Or if you imagine your friend is telling you the problem/issue when in fact it’s your story. In turn, you can see it from a different perspective because it is no longer about you. It changes to being about someone else.
For example, let’s say the issue I’m going through is that I struggle to work with this negative person at my job. On a daily basis she is always bringing down the rest of the team. If I were to think of my problem as if a friend were coming to me for advice, and explaining their story, then I can see it from their perspective. Sometimes it may be easier to do this when you write it down. Be sure to avoid saying “I” or “Me”; change that to your own name so it’s third person or make up a name if you’d like.
For example, my friend Veronica complained to me about this person she works with. This person is negative on a daily basis and it brings her down. That every morning she wakes up in a great mood ready to start her day. When she walks in the door she greets everyone with a smile and warm greeting, in hopes to start their day off right.
Yet, this particular coworker will not only avoid greeting her back, but she rolls her eyes. And shakes her head at her every single time she attempts to tell her “Good Morning” with a smile. Throughout the day it worsens with her attitude and she puts her down or criticizes her work. This coworker also starts drama amongst other team members and spreads rumors. My friend has a hard time remaining positive while working with this person for 8 hours straight.
Since I am thinking of this story from my friend’s perspective, I can see her story from the outside of the box. Which makes it easier to give her my advice. I would tell her to consider that this person may be going through tough times in their personal life.
Maybe feel sorry for this person. Perhaps they were never praised for the good things they did growing up. Or were always criticized for everything they did. Maybe that’s why this person criticizes you? Perhaps she doesn’t know any different. And if you continue being positive as well as friendly to this person, then maybe you’ll help them. Perhaps to see things from a positive perspective that they’ve been seeking.
Although they don’t show you respect, maybe over time it’ll change. You may be the person they need in their life right now to pull them out of this negative attitude they have. They need to see the “light” and maybe you can be that person for them. Don’t let this person drag you down! Keep being that smile people look forward to seeing every day when they walk into work!
Bringing it back to the point, that maybe now the story seems different to you. Since it’s about someone else. Your brain is being tricked. I find it easier to look at the issue this way. And come up with solutions or advice you would give this person (which in turn is you). The story can be any way you like or what works for you to understand it better.
The next step is following your own advice! Give it a shot and see if it works for you. Good luck!