When a relationship ends, the best thing to do for yourself, is cut off all contact with the other person.
Now, circumstances may need for you to stay in contact if you have children together. Yet, it should still be kept very minimal and only about the kids.
I understand the challenges that come with cutting off contact with someone. It’s not easy by any means. The seconds can feel like hours, the hours can feel like days. Silence can seem deafening. And by no contact, I mean unfriend or block on ALL social media, and maybe block their number too. When it comes to blocking someone’s number, it’s necessary if they continue reaching out to you. Or if you don’t have the will power to refrain from contacting them. Especially if you have a few cocktails. It’s okay if you mess up, we’ve all been there at some point in our lives.
No contact is good for many reasons. Reflection, change, moving on, finding closure and seeing things from another perspective. Sometimes it takes several weeks, months or even years of no contact to reap the benefits of it. Every situation and relationship is different. That depends on the depth of your commitment you had with this person. As well as the emotional attachment and love you may have/had for him or her.
Keeping in constant communication, or even seldom communication, can affect you. It can affect your growth and moving on. Even if you’re the one that chose to end the relationship or you’re in a different place. You are also hurting the other person that is trying to move on if you keep that door open too early on.
When you feel okay knowing they are dating someone else, then you’ve made it. And what I mean is you are genuinely happy for them. If at that point you want a friendship, then you can have a healthy and civil one. Of course if they want that too.
It’s important to respect their choices with this too. If they ask you not to contact them so they can heal, then show them you have enough respect to let them move on. I know it’s tough, but it’s part of life. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. Take the time to focus on your self-independence again. Life existed before this person came into the picture.
Trust your journey and direction. If it’s meant to be with you two, then you’ll cross paths again when the time is right. For now, cut off all contact and focus on your own life. Time heals all wounds. You will get through this and it will get better. “It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.”
“If you have no contact, you have no exposure, and you have no risk.” -Jim Barrett